Mom, Inc.

As a mom who does not have a j-o-b outside the home...I'm often asked...what do you do? I often reply with, "what don't I do?" My job title of "mom" I wear many hats...we all know that...and for those of us who are SAHM....we know what they are...and even the mom's who do have j-o-b-s outside the home, it's just another hat they wear along with all the other hats. The fact is I DO have a j-o-b. I'm the CEO, CFO and Department Manager of my Home, Mom, Inc. My job starts every morning at 7 am---Monday through Friday (I work a 7 day week but I have been able to strech out at least a one hour later start time on weekends). I work at least a 12 hour shift and there are times when I have had to work a 24 hour shift. I work rain or shine, in sickness or in health, in sadness and happiness. 

Practically, speaking I have taken my role as "mom" and have treated it like a "real" paying job. I think what I find hard about my job is being taken seriously. There are very few of us who ever get a pat on the back for a job well done, and perhaps that is part of the problem...in most jobs there is a reward for a job well done...there is motivation. I know my motivating factor should come from my children, truth is, that is not always a motivating factor. Modern Motherhood has changed drastically from the past few generations of mothers. Us modern mom's today have college educations and most of us have worked in the corporate world, we have had careers, we know how to work and we know how to run a business.

 Just because I'm no longer part of the "work force" does not mean I'm not a working force.

I think that part of the problem is me. Perhaps, it's my attitude about my job that has given it less meaning. Let's face it, when someone asks the mom next to me what she does for a living and she declares she is the Cheif Financial Officer for XYZ Company...it sorta makes me feel a little awkward. Lately, I have been thinking "what if I started treating my SAHM status like a profession?" I mean, the job I am doing is not small feat. I along with the rest of mother kind are working on raising the next President of the United States, the next Secretary of State, the next District Attorney, or your next door neighbor, your daughters boyfriend or husband, the importance of this cannot be stressed enough! I am creating the next work force. The next generation of human beings who can be productive, behave with integrity, kindness, wisdom and love. It's not an easy task. It's not an easy appointment. I need to treat this job with the professionalism that I would treat any job that I am given to do.

I have been stewing on this for a few weeks now. It seems like, in our culture, that being a mom is a lifestyle choice. Who in their right mind would really choose motherhood as a profession? I mean wome have fought very hard to make sure that I did not end up just a "mom" or just someone's "wife." Yes, I chose to have children, yes, I chose to stay home, and yes, I am blessed to do so...but let's not forget even Oprah said that being a mom is the hardest job in the world!

A friend of mine loned me a book called "The Wife at Home; or Pratical Hints to Young Females on the Duties of A Wife, A Mother, and a Mistress of a Family" By Mrs. Taylor of Ongar---Boston Published in 1837!!! One line from the book---Mrs. Taylor writes "the mistress and mother of a family occupies one of the most important stations in the community." I will write a little more from this book as I read it. It is a treasure! A treasure and I'm grateful that my friend lent it to me. There was a time when being the manager of home was a vital role to society and in some parts of the world it still is. Somehow, we women, got off track...what I'm about to write will not be popular, it's not PC, it's not, how shall I say...a feminist thought...but somehow, we as women have decided that being a mother, a wife, a household manger, if you will...is somehow degrading. Today, this day 16th day of November---I declare that it is NOT! No matter how humble a job it is--it is the most vital job in our community! As long as we women see it that way--- so will the rest of soiciety. Because of our mothers and the job they did for us...we now have that power to change the minds of men. Do not think me ungrateful for the feminist movement---on the contray...I would not be able to write what I am writing today if it were not for our female movement...We---you and I have to change the preception out there and I think we have begun that revolution so that our sons and daughters will know that being a parent is the highest ranking position on earth!

Last year I read and article in More Magazine called "Are Younger Women Trying to Trash Feminism." Basically, the article came down to this for me...Hirshman (she wrote the book "Get to Work")  accuses the daughters of feminists (you and I) for having recreated the 1950's and not only that but the 1950's sitcom. WHAT? She goes on to question why a woman would stay at home and make herself dependent on the goodwill and material success of another human being (obviously she means a man), and to cut herself off from the security and opportunities that a public life involves. She said during her research for her book "Get to Work" that she was very surprised to see women in their late 30's early 40's who had grown up after the first blast of the feminist revolution living very different lives from what she would have expected from them. In other words she found a slew of women...you and  me, Stay at Home Moms riding on the coat tales of our husbands. The younger writer of the article Trister, sumed it up for me. She responded with the thought that the feminist movement had fought for the daughters to be able to make choices to stay home or not stay home, work or not work, have babies or not have babies, as well as men being able to do the same things.

My friend/cousin has been sharing blogs with me lately. Wow! My socks were knocked off by this great blog...I'm sure some of you are already aquainted with her...Simple Mom.net. Here is a great link on her blog. She IS a writer and she sums up what I'm trying to say in a very eloquent way. I read her blog way after I had already started this post. I was happy to find another mom, a writer had found a way to put what was in my head in writing. It validated what I have been thinking these past few weeks.

I still desire to have a career and want to be a "breadwinner" but at this time in our family's journey it seems like someone needs to be home and tend to the children. I know now, that it's choice that I have made to use this small window of time to raise my children and to do it with all the same energy that I would give any career. SO... The next time someone asks me what I do for a living... my positive, proud response if going to be---My job is MOM.

What do you think?

Lots to chew on and I'm not at all positive that I have really been able to express fully what I think about this subject and I'm sure I will be taken all wrong...but I have been, as said, "stewing" on this for a while and I thought it was time to go ahead and throw it out there.

Have a great week...are you prepping like I am for Thanksgiving? Nuts, uh?

xoc