Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Life is Messy, But Someone's Got to Live It!

Life is Messy, But Someone's Got to Live It! I find myself repeating this little made up saying. I think that I find myself most of time thinking that things should be perfect, and for a moment in time they are then, snap! Just like that something unexpected happens. Someone dies, milk gets spilled, car accidents, a fued between a spouse or a loved one, laundry piles, bills need to be paid...perfection for a moment is lost and life gets a little messy, things get out of place and for a brief moment chaos wins.

My sweet, dear hubs was raised by Ozzie and Harriet. His life was picture perfect. He had a dad who was there for him, a mom who stayed home and took care of him and his younger brother. My hubs has told me that he only once ever saw his parents bicker. Such a contrast to my life....I was raised by gypsies and circus people! My life at one time or other was either a Shakespearean comedy or most commonly, a tradgedy! Poor hubs, he cannot relate to the twisted tales of my childhood, it just does not compute.

I recently read an article on FB about perfection...sadly, I do not remember the link or I would share it. In any event, basically the article is about our pusuit of perfection. When life is humming along beautifully, it's awesome! I love it! I thrive, it almost seems perfect---but then there are seasons when life gets messy and I really miss the hum of things going smoothly, perfectly, if you will. Pursuing perfection is sometimes not being honest about where you really are in life. My adult life has been a  pursuit in search of being authentic, real and honest. With regard to that pursuit, I have realized, that I want my life to be picture perfect, but I'm not sure that is authentic or real. As far as being honest....I always pause before I make the decision to be honest with my fellow human kind (or motherkind) for fear of being judged too harshly. However, most of the time after I share I realize that I'm not alone in my imperfections, that one of fellow humans (mom friend or sister) was feeling the same way, and for a second we both help eachother up, dust ourselves off and realize that we have so many blessings in our lives and that's it okay for life to get a little messy. It helps us see our blessings and our humanness.

I wrote about the depo provera shot and the effects that it has had on me...then I wrote about my beloved grandfather passing...and lately, I have had to deal with the aftermath of his death. Lots of family issues. It seems though now I'm on the other side of the past few months of messes. One lessson, I'm constantly learning from my family, is what not to do. I actually am finding myself appreciating this lesson. I know that life gets messy, that it's not always easy, and it most certainly is not perfect. I'm okay with that. I am learning how to navigate my way through the messy moments in life and live through it with grace and aplomb.

xoc

1 comment:

Melanie said...

I think sometimes people see perfection as a fixed thing when really it's quite relative. What is "perfect!" for me probably looks like a disaster to someone else!

I think you have a great deal of perfection in your honesty about juggling all of it- it certainly helps me feel like I'm not alone in this crazy balancing act of my own that I've got going on! ^_^