Dreaming

This past week I had my wisdom teeth removed. Whew! What an ordeal, however I was granted some down time so that I could heal. I have had the luxery to watch movies. I saw "The Good Woman" with Helen Hunt and Scarlett Johansson. In any event, the movie took place in Italy (one of my dream destinations)! For some reason the movie made me think of several things and one of them was that I have never really allowed myself to dream. Such as, dreaming of things that I want for my future. I have always sorta just winged it. I remember having some dreams but I would verblize them and then someone would tell me that was not the dream to have. I should want to dream to be this or that or want this or that. Which has always led me in strange ways. It is also a part of youthfulness...being led by others. Please do not think that I am ungrateful for my life. I love it very much and have been very, very lucky and blessed. I have always been able to see the Sunny Side to it. But for some reason I allowed other people's ideas or thoughts about what I should dream seep in and they have not been mine.

All of which leads me to this blog...I am almost 40 years old and I am going to have my own thoughts and dreams and not let anyone persuade me otherwise. You might find me wrting about things that you may not like but I do not care. From now on I am going to be true to ME, to MYSELF and what I THINK! I am going to dream and I am going to DREAM bigger than I ever thought possible! No matter what happens...I am going to dream it. If I can do that then, really, I can do anything.

Jettson has been helping me too. Please do not misread this. Lately, I have been letting Jettson (without him knowing) teach me how to parent him. I have read books, magazines, listened to other parents, and teachers. However, along "the one" to teach me has been Jettson! He has been telling me things like "Mom, when you yell at me I think that you hate me." Um, OK WOW! A light was switched on. I do not yell often, but I do. I am normal. I can't stand myself when I do it. When Jettson told me this I stopped what I was doing and I asked him if he had another solution to our problem? I had asked him to do something nicely several times then it was a final yell that got him to do what I wanted. He told me that he needed more time. DONE! I certainly do not want Jettson to ever think that I hate him and if I am doing something that is translating that kind of message, well then, I am going to stop what I am doing and listen to my child. I am practiceing it...it seems to be working. We are in a good place.

Over the next few months as I approach the BIG 40...my postings will most likely be reflecting this change in my life. I do feel a little wiser. I do feel like for the first time in my life I can truly dream about what I want for my life. I feel like I am not too proud to stop and listen to my child tell what I am doing wrong as a parent and change it. Thanks whoever made the movie "The Good Woman" and thanks to Jettson for making me see that he can teach me how to be a better mommy!