"Mommy Guilt"

Since Owen has come into our lives I have still to figure out how to manage two children effectively. Jett goes to preschool Tues thru Friday. It is great not just for me but for him as well. I know that for 3 1/2 hours on those morning he is getting the time and attention he needs to be read to, play games, & socialize with other children. When he comes home around 12:30p I have usually just got Owen down for his afternoon nap or Owen is just getting ready for his afternoon nap which means that I must quickly say hi to Jett make sure he that he goes to the bathroom, get a snack and then it is off to his room to pick out a DVD and then I am back to attend to Owen for usually at least 2 hours. Owen will only sleep if I am with him which usually means I fall asleep too (FYI-I have all doors latched & locked & Jett's room is right next to mine & I never sleep sound I always have half an ear open to Jett's needs)...In any event, here is where the guilt comes in...I feel like I am not giving Jett the attention he needs or deserves. Bear in mind this has only been since the baby has come along before this Jettson & I would have picnics in the woods, go to the park, walks, read books. I know this is a phase but it is a phase that affects Jett. I feel guilty that he is in his room on his own while I am snuggled up with Owen and Owen has so much of my time. Don't get me wrong I understand that a newborn needs his mother and all her time but it is easy when you only have a newborn....but when you have other children that's when it gets tricky. I am trying to figure out how to get in cuddle time with Jettson. Usually, in the morning before Owen wakes up I try to fit in, I am reading to both boys in the bathtub every night. On Mondays I am making that day all about Jett, I take him to Library and read him as many books as he wants, we play at the playground and then get a treat at Starbucks...for some reason that little bit of time relieves some of my guilt.

I was really stressing about this today...then my friend Mel did a podcast on the subject and I realized that I need to just breathe and let it all go especially the imaginary me...the mom I imagine who is perfect but in real life is not and that really bums me out. But then I realize that I am doing a great job. I am reading to the boys, I am getting quality time in with Jett at least 2-3 times a day. We do go to the park and other outings weekly, we do have a wonderful schedule with Breakfast lunch and dinner, bath time, rest time, bedtime.... and Jett gets to play with his friends and he has wonderful teachers and we have a daddy who also loves us and loves to be home with us. Was it like before...no, but before it was Jett and me...but now we have Owen and Jett has never seemed sad that we have new baby in our house he actually loves Owen. I think he loves him as much as I do. So as my friend said..."be gone guilt!"