Tuesday, February 1, 2011

How do you Discipline?

I saw a story on "The View" this morning about a woman who disciplined her lying son by putting hot sauce on his tongue and then placed him in a cold shower. Yikes! The boys was adopted from Russia. Here is the full story Hot Sauce Mom Accused of Child Abuse.

After reading this story and watching the video I'm sickened. What about you? This poor child is coming from Russia for Pete's sake. He has already suffered (not just because he is coming from Russia, but you get what I'm trying to write). I'm not saying that some sort of discipline should not be administered, but terror as a form of punishment for a child who clearly is already a handful does not seem like the answer to me. I'm not sure what the answer is, but clearly, this is not the answer! 

I feel for the mom. I will no way defend what she's done. I mean, we have ALL (and if your the one saying "not me"...then you shouldn't be reading my blog...go somewhere else...like...where shit smells like roses, comes to mind) been at our wits end with our kids and have done things we are not proud of.  In no way do I want to point a finger at one mom--- when I know my tactics for disciplining have been less than stellar. However, for this particular mother, it seems to me that she might have used other tactics for a child who has already suffered.

Disciplining children is a tough job. It's not easy. I know from my own experience with my difficult child, that the more angry discipline tactics I used in the past, the worse the behavior became. The moment I stopped to listen to my son about how we could solve our discipline issues, there was a huge shift in our relationship.

I have no idea what's the right way to discipline. I was raised by circus people and gypsies, so I have had to completely reinvent the wheel. There are so many personalities to consider, the parents, the childs'---it has always made sense to me that one size does not fit all in how to rear a child. However, causing terror, pain and suffering at the hand of the one person you are to trust the most? That, my friend does not make sense to me at all.

What do you think?

How do you discipline?

What would you do to discipline a child who was lying?

xoc 

3 comments:

Melanie said...

I don't think Dylan understands the concept of lying right now. They're at an age where their truth is that thomas the train can talk, rocket can take Leo and Annie around the world in a split second, and Dora and a monkey use a talking map to get places. Imagination is key and there isn't much that can keep reality and fantasy straight. I haven't experienced him purposely telling me a lie in order to get something he wanted, though. I suppose we'll just have to cross that bridge when we get there.

Christy & the Boys said...

I agree Mel...Jett told us one a long time ago...when Owen was starting to walk. Owen fell and cried pretty hard. When Chris asked him what happend he said..."Oh, he just fell down." Chris said..."is that the truth Jett or did you make that up?" Jett thought for a second and said..."I made it up. I pushed him down." Chris explained to him that's called lying and we do not lie in our house. Jett has always told the truth since then, even when he gets into trouble doing it. I think it's an age thing and when all that understanding kicks in. It took awhile for Jett he's always been honest and forthcoming. Owen on the other hand is a little more crafty and cunning so we will see what happens there...xoc

Unknown said...

how do i Dicipline.. Just Control myself..and remember my time, my age to do anything. :)