FALL

Good morning. Fall is in the air. Summer came and went. School is in full swing. We are well into our schedule and I finally feel like I can catch up on other areas of my life, like my blog!

Jett and Owen are growing at an amazing, fast forward, lightening speed! Owen turned 4 in September and Jett is going to turn 8 in a week! I can't believe it. I remember when Owen was born dreaming about the day when the boys would be 8 and 4. I thought that it was such a long way off and that those would be magical ages. Now, here we are! And it's magical. The boys are such great little kids. They are happy and pretty well adjusted. I know I'm painting a pretty picture, but believe me, we've worked really hard to achieve it! My whole goal in this moment in time is to create some pretty awesome human beings. They both love life and all that it offers. It's pretty neat to watch the world through the eyes of your kids. I'm really trying to make a conscience effort to let the boys show me everything about life while they can. While they still want me in it.

My journey into motherhood has been bumpy, but I'm happy to report that I finally feel settled and am enjoying the ride.

I also recently, started a new direct sales business called Stella and Dot http://www.stelladot.com/sites/ChristySHadland. I love it!! I'm having lots of fun with the jewelry and learning about running an online business. I know it's direct sales, and I never thought that I would find myself doing something like this. However, I really love the line and the company. They have a very different approach to the whole at-home-party-direct-sales-thing. They mail directly to the customer, so I never have to deal with inventory, returns or any of that mess. There isn't a "sales pitch" or "presentation" I love that!!!!! I love to wear jewelry, I love their product, so why not wear fabulous jewelry everyday, meet awesome women and go to parties! Sounds like heaven to me! (I'm such an over thinker and get heavied out by the messes of the world, that I need a creative outlet to be fancy, pretty, shallow, drink Champagne & eat cupcakes).

So that's a little of what been going on around here in the Hadland Household. I know I've been MIA again,  but there has been so much "growing" going around here that I needed some space to just let it all happen.

I hope your having a great Fall and have a very safe and fun Halloween.

xoxoC

PS
I'm posting my pancake recipe today in my recipe section of my blog. xoc

Weekend Bliss

Finally! We had a family weekend. We've not had one in a while. It's been crazy busy around here, as I'm sure it's been at your house too. The older the boys get, the busier we get. I'm trying so hard to slow things down, but geez....I just cannot seem to make that happen.

We took a drive yesterday to Greyhound Rock. It's a little drive up Coast Highway about 1/2 hr outside Santa Cruz. You take a wee little hike down to an amazing beach. We had fun tide pooling, shell hunting and other follies. We each just strolled the beach finding our own little treasures. The boys were so happy. At certain times I looked at my boys and true happiness filled my soul. I still pinch myself. I cannot believe these little creatures are mine! I'm a very lucky girl indeed. Truly, life cannot be measured by what kind of house you have, what kind of car you drive or the clothes you wear. I'm so happy that I learned that lesson very early in my life. I do not care for earthy riches, they are nice and I enjoy them when they are around, but the true riches that I posses are my children and my husband. It's not an easy place to, get to but I tell ya, when you get there it's the most beautiful place to be in. 

A few thoughts that I had this weekend:

1. I love my boys.

2. I'm grateful for this moment in my life.

3. Nature is magical.

4. My husband is my best friend.

5. Patience is learned and I must practice it all the time.

6. When I'm happy my boys are happy.

7. An organized life is a happy life.

8. I really do not like Mondays.

9. I love to exercise and I like to eat...the two cancel each other out ;)

10. Life is a mystery and I'm grateful that I have another day to discover all it's beauty, good, bad and ugly.

Irene Shorter

My last living grandparent died this month, April 19, 2011. She was my father's mother. I have so many wonderful memories of my Grandma Shorter. She was a very elegant woman. She was always well groomed. I remember every Friday was her hair salon day. She would go and in and have her hair washed, sometimes trimmed, rollers put in and then it was under the heat dryer for an hour or so. Then the hairdresser would do her hair just so. I remember accompanying her from time to time to one of these appointments. She always looked so grand and beautiful after. Her makeup was done, her nails. She always smelled of jasmine. She had a presence about her. I only knew her to be calm, sweet and gracious. A true southern woman.

She would randomly take me for over night visits to her house. That's when she would teach me how to embroider and sew, with the sound of "Love Boat" or "Fantasy Island" playing in the background (it was the 80's). I treasured those times with her. She was a safety net for me during a time that was not very pleasant for me at home.

She loved to cook Sunday Supper and lay out her best Franciscan Desert Rose dishes. She loved strawberries, her kitchen reflected this love and the Franciscan Desert Rose dishes looked very much like the blooms from strawberry plants. Whenever I come across these dishes I'm reminded of her.

I was only around her as a child and teenager, so I was never able to appreciate any stories she may have told me when I was little about her life. I wish I could have spent time with her as the adult I am now and found out more about her life. She will now remain a lovely, mystery to me.

It's always a strange feeling when someone you've known your whole life passes away. A part of my childhood has passed along with my grandmother. I feel very blessed to have had two sets of grandparents (material and paternal) and have had intimate relationships with all four of them. They took up the slack raising my sister's and I when our own parents were unable to do so. I learned how crochet, sew, cook, clean, embroider, be crafty and creative from my lovely grandmothers. These wonderful gifts I now posses are all thanks to them so there is a part of them that lives on in me.

Been Awhile...

It's been awhile since I lasted posted. I've been a little busy with a community project. Our little beach town of Capitola By the Sea is going through some changes. You can't see them yet, but the whole community is on the cusp of making some changes. Our City plan is outdated (1989) and it needs to be overhauled. Thankfully, our city leaders are reaching out to the community and wanting our input. I love our little, sleepy beach town. People come from all over to vacation here. It's a great place to raise kids, especially, boys! However, with all the surfing and skateboarding that takes place here, our community of Capitola still lacks a skate park for our kids. I have been actively working with another mom, Emily to get a skate park built in our city. It seems like the time is right to have the park built. There is a lot of support for the skate park as well as opposition. Not to bore you further with such ramblings but it's what I've been up to.

The night we went to City Council to request our issue be put on the agenda for discussion, was the same night Japan was hit with the 5th largest Earthquake and Tsunami in our world's recorded history! I felt a little silly the next day. In the wake of what is going on the world... fighting with the city to get a skate park built seemed, well, trivial.  I have felt pretty bad for what our fellow citizens of the world are experiencing at this moment in time. The world seems a little crazy right now. I am so GRATEFUL for life at this very moment. Life is unpredictable, as much as we like to try and predict it, it somehow always laughs at us and proves to us that it's much stronger than we are. We are survivors and I know that Japan will get back on it's feet again...but it's going to be a long time. Our little family has a soft spot for all things Japanese. Jett practices Karate, we love Japanese food and we some Japanese friends. So our hearts are heavy for the people of Japan. Of course when things like this happen you get all sorts of questions from your kids. Jett has been asking some big ones!

Jett: Mom, where did the ocean come from?

Me: Well, there was a Great Flood and it made the oceans.

Jett: Is that how we got fish? All the people drowned and turned into fish?

Me: *laughs* um...well, all the people died but a few... and fish evolved from...from...well, they just evolved.

Jett: What? Mom, none of that makes sense.

*Laugh* *Chuckle* *Sigh*

I hope that your day and week is happy. Let's be grateful for life and take time to reflect on what's really important. Our loved ones. Peace to Japan.

xoc

Haircut Time--Owen's First Haircut

After 3 1/2 years, Owen Sterling got a haircut! We've been talking about it for weeks. Owen has been crying at bathtime about having his hair washed, brushed and lately, braided. It got too long not to have it contained somehow. The final straw was Saturday. Daddy took the boys skating and then to lunch at McDonald's. Jett got a car in his Happy Meal and Owen got a *gasp* a fairy doll. Jett was devasted! He came home and said "Mom, mom! They gave Owen a barbie! A barbie, mom! That's it...we need to get his hair cut, I'm tired of everyone thinking that my brother is a girl!" So....yesterday afternoon we took a family trip to the hair salon.

Look at that beautiful long blonde hair...*sniff, sniff*

He wasn't sure what to think about it all.

Gone!

Here he is Owen Sterling Hadland! My boy! He wanted a fauxhawk. He's wanted his hair like this since Jett got his hair cut last fall. I'm still trying to get used to it. He looks so grown up now.

xoc

Jack the Cat

In 2001 my little sister came to live with me. However, when she came to live with me she had to leave her little dog behind. She was so sad and I was sad for her. Even though she was in her 20's at the time and capable of being a big girl, I felt bad for her, so I decided that she could get a cat. She was so excited. Even though I already had a crazy ass cat, named Fiona (seriously, this poor Siamese/Himalayan cat was just nuts...she had some sort of feline induced schizophrenia!). A friend of mine at the time just so happened to have 6 week old kittens. My sister let me pick out the kitty (she had a work commitment and was not able to pick out her kitty), this most likely was a huge mistake, because somehow this little kitty and I now had a bond. I mean, I chose him above all the kitties in the litter. A few weeks later I brought Jack home for my sister.

 A few months after my sister got her feet she and Jack moved to their own apartment. Then the news came...Jack was not welcome at my sister's new home. It had something to do with the fact that, NO ANIMALS WERE ALLOWED  in my sister's apartment. Somehow, she forgot this important contractual detail when she secured her apartment. She got found out and it was either her or Jack. So of course, since I was the one who picked him out, I was the obvious choice. Jack was back. Needless to say, Fiona was not happy. I was half and half. I loved Jack, but I never planned on having two cats. Fiona was an inside cat and Jack decided that he wanted to be an outside cat.

Shortly, after Jack came back to live with me, Fiona  got depressed. She did not like having Jack around and it made her feline schizophrenia worse than ever. I had such a hard time for awhile, I really wanted to keep both of them, but due to Fiona's depression she ended up living under my bed for about month. She got a little feisty, scratching me if I tired to coax her out and the like. I finally gave her away to another cat person who was more able to take care of a high maintenance cat like Fiona.

Jack and I had a happy time for awhile. He and I got into a groove.

In the winter of 2003 I got pregnant with Jettson. I was a little more than preoccupied with my new bump and sorta put Jack at the end "pay attention to" list. Then one day, hubs asked me if I had seen Jack? Jack was prone to taking off for a day and returning late at night or early morning so I hadn't noticed that he had been gone for a few days. Panic set in, our first thought was a raccoon had got him. We have a nice little pack of bandits who occupy our nearby "woods" (really it's just an over grown knoll that we refer to as the woods). We hunted around for him, asked around for him...no one had seen him. At which point, we began to think that he may have been struck by a car. We get a lot of traffic at certain times of the day and evenings just below our condo. A month or so went by and we had no clue what had happened to our sweet little Jacky.  This was a big reason why I did not not an outside pet. It's too unpredictable to have them outside. I could not contain Jack to the indoors no matter how hard I tried. And now my worst fear had come to pass, surely he was hit by a car or the pack of 'coons got him?

By the Fall of 2003 we still did not know where Jack went. We talked about him from time to time. I would still call for him in hopes that he would return. Our neighbors asked about him. By Halloween night I was swollen with baby and ready to pop, but hubs and I still wanted to be a part of Halloween, so we ventured out to downtown Santa Cruz for a night of head turning, and eye popping costume watching. We got home just before midnight. As we were walking up to our front door....we were approached by a tom car apparition, who very much looked like, Jack! We could not believe our eyes! We kept calling him and he would meow back at us. It was a Halloween miracle! He came inside and we kept asking him where in the hell had he been these past 7 months?! He was meowing his responses to us...of course we could not understand a word he meowed to us. Jack was back, again.

The next morning, Jack wanted to back outside. I was sad. I kept telling him that he needed to stay in with us, it was dangerous outside. Something had changed with Jack. He somehow seemed older and wiser...he grew up and I had to let go, again. I worried all day wondering if he would come back, he did and has every day since.

About a week later we had found out what happened to Jack. There was a crazy cat lady in our complex. A little girl had come up to hubs and asked him if the black cat was his? Hubs responded with yes...the little girl went on to say that there was an old lady moving from the complex and she wanted to take Jack with her. Hubs could not believe what he was hearing. The little girl told hubs that she has had Jack for months and wanted him back! Hubs told the little girl  that she could go tell "crazy cat lady" no, and that Jack was our cat, that we had been worried about him for months.

The facts are, Jack is a cat and he really doesn't belong to anyone. He was picked out by me, loved by my sister, he's fed by the neighbors, sleeps at home most of the time, but he has multiple beds around the neighborhood. He has a few names, Jack, Boots, Changes.

How do you Discipline?

I saw a story on "The View" this morning about a woman who disciplined her lying son by putting hot sauce on his tongue and then placed him in a cold shower. Yikes! The boys was adopted from Russia. Here is the full story Hot Sauce Mom Accused of Child Abuse.

After reading this story and watching the video I'm sickened. What about you? This poor child is coming from Russia for Pete's sake. He has already suffered (not just because he is coming from Russia, but you get what I'm trying to write). I'm not saying that some sort of discipline should not be administered, but terror as a form of punishment for a child who clearly is already a handful does not seem like the answer to me. I'm not sure what the answer is, but clearly, this is not the answer! 

I feel for the mom. I will no way defend what she's done. I mean, we have ALL (and if your the one saying "not me"...then you shouldn't be reading my blog...go somewhere else...like...where shit smells like roses, comes to mind) been at our wits end with our kids and have done things we are not proud of.  In no way do I want to point a finger at one mom--- when I know my tactics for disciplining have been less than stellar. However, for this particular mother, it seems to me that she might have used other tactics for a child who has already suffered.

Disciplining children is a tough job. It's not easy. I know from my own experience with my difficult child, that the more angry discipline tactics I used in the past, the worse the behavior became. The moment I stopped to listen to my son about how we could solve our discipline issues, there was a huge shift in our relationship.

I have no idea what's the right way to discipline. I was raised by circus people and gypsies, so I have had to completely reinvent the wheel. There are so many personalities to consider, the parents, the childs'---it has always made sense to me that one size does not fit all in how to rear a child. However, causing terror, pain and suffering at the hand of the one person you are to trust the most? That, my friend does not make sense to me at all.

What do you think?

How do you discipline?

What would you do to discipline a child who was lying?

xoc